Character — The Future You! | Four Winds Christian Church

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Character—The Future You!

Richard Tatum, Associate Pastor, Four Winds Christian Church

The Focus

Human life can be divided into stages: infant, toddler, child, adolescent, prepubescent teen, teenager, young adult, maturing adult, seasoned adult, and senior citizen (if we are fortunate enough to make it to the last stage). Although these are not the “scientific” categories of human development, they, nevertheless, sum up the human growth process. Each subsequent stage should represent a progression in our being—physically, mentally, and spiritually. And, somewhere along the line (or possibly all along the line), we develop character…becoming who we are or will be.

Here is what the Apostle Paul had to say about that development:

¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹²For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. ^{1 Corinthians 13:11-12}

A Perspective of Character

What do people say about you? What do they say about who you are? What do they say about your character? What do they say about your family because of your “character” or actions?

Our children had the great fortune (or misfortune…depending on who you’re talking to) of growing up in a two-minister household…aka preachers’ kids or PKs. As a minister, pastor, or chaplain, depending on my role in the church community where we served, I would always tell the congregation not to judge our children based on our (mine and my wife’s) calling.

I am sure that if you have been in church any length of time, you have heard people say that “the preachers’ kids are the worst kids.” Can I get an “Amen!” from all the PKs? Although this may be true for some, it is not a true blanket statement! Many of these kids get a bad “rep” just because of their parents’ role or calling, and the expectation of the congregation or church members for “these” kids to be “perfect angels”—no faults…no flaws…no sin…no fun!

Nevertheless, for my wife and I, it was important for our children to be on their best behavior at home…and everywhere else. We would often emphasize to our children that our expectations of them in the home and in public were not because they were PKs…but rather because they were Tatums! [A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. ^{Proverbs 22:1}] While our hope, desire, and training were directed towards helping our children to choose a life of faith and to serve God, whether they did or didn’t they were still Tatums! This can be correlated to Christians being a representation of God. While “Christian” is a title given to a particular religious group that accepts Jesus the Christ as the Messiah, it is, nonetheless, like having God’s name. Just as I expect my kids to wear my name well, God expects us to wear His name well! This means being “children” (of God) with good character.

Defining Character

So! Just what is character? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines character as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual; one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual; a feature used to separate distinguishable things into categories; a person’s usual qualities or traits; or engrave (normally associated with writing or inscription but can define a person’s continual state). It also says that character is “a distinguishing feature, or the group of qualities that make a person, group, or thing different from others.”

The Cambridge Dictionary has similar definitions, stating that character is “the particular combination of qualities in a person or place that makes them different from others; qualities that are interesting and unusual; or the quality of being determined and able to deal with difficult situations.”

Often, it is your character that defines you! Your character can be seen in terms of adjectives: astute, wise, compassionate, loud, aloof, demonstrative, boisterous, etc. Whether from a physical, moral, emotional, or spiritual perspective, character can be bad and good. An example of this can be found in Galatians 5:19-23—

¹⁹The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. ²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

That “fruit of the spirit” and the aforementioned qualities could be the defining attributes of your character, especially if they continual or habitual.

Developing Character

The way I see it, your character is the building blocks of who you are or is the fabric of your being! When you are conceived, it is the beginning of who you are…and who you are becoming—the future you. However, it is when you are born that your character begins to develop. Sights, sounds, and other environmental forces help form your character. As your character begins to develop, it not only defines you but also what you are capable of. Your life’s story may tell of what you have accomplished; however, it is your character that tells how it was accomplished. For example, were your accomplishments achieved through hook or crook or by any means necessary, or were they done honestly with hard work and effort?

Another factor in someone knowing you is the difference in how people describe you and how they define you. A description of you merely tells attributes about you, i.e., tall, or short, long, or short hair, big or thin, glasses or good sight, clean or unkempt, etc. Whereas, defining you has to do with the character traits that you have demonstrated along your life’s journey.

So! Why is character important? For some, it is a matter of life and death. Meaning, that they are very conscience about how people view them now…and even when they die. Many of us want to be well-spoken of even when we die. Have you ever been to the funeral of someone you know…or maybe know about? As you listened to the way the person was described in the eulogy, it did not line up with what you knew (or heard) about the person. For some reason, we are compelled to say nice things about a person just because they are dead…even though they were not nice when they were living. I once did a funeral for a former military member. I met with the family, and they began to tell me things about him. However, after each of their recollected accounts of things he did, they would say, “Oh, don’t talk about that during the funeral.” By the time it came to doing the funeral, there was very little to say about the decedent.

Many years ago, my wife—who was a hospice chaplain at the time—introduced me to a poem entitled The Dash, which was written by Linda Ellis. In short, the poem talks about the importance of what happens in people’s lives between the time they are born and the time they die. What will people remember about them? What will people say about them? What mark did their character leave on someone else’s life? The poem talks about the date of birth and the date of death on the tombstone; however, between those dates is a dash. That dash represents the life of the person and the things that they did between those dates. After that last date, there is nothing that a person can do or say or undo and unsay; it is the conclusion of the matter…that life! With that thought in mind, the poem concludes this way:

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent YOUR dash?

Christian Character

Previously, the question was asked, “Why is character important?” I believe a more important question is “Why is Christian character so important?”

In his work, The Pillars of Christian Character: The Essentials of a Living Faith, John MacArthur says that the pillars of Christian character include genuine faith, obedience, humility, selfless love, forgiveness, self-discipline, gratitude, and worship. He adds:

“Each is an essential element of mature Christianity. But there is transforming power when you combine them in your everyday living as God commands. Your character will be grounded in godliness; You will see things from an eternal perspective; and your faith, your actions, your witness to others will be revitalized from the inside out.”

In the Book of Colossians in Chapter 3, we are warned that there are “things” that must be put to death because they are not in keeping with godly values or Christian character. It says:

⁵Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. ⁷You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Words of Encouragement for the “Church”

In Romans 5:2b-4 [NIV], we see these words:

^2bAnd we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope.

While many versions of the Bible use the word “character” in vs. 4, it is also sometimes translated as experience or approvedness. The Greek word often used is dokimē, which means proved or tried character; or by implication, trustiness. In saying this, your character often comes to light when you are tested…when you have to make a decision, especially a decision where your integrity is at stake.

Character is not like a coin toss when the odds of which of you will show up are determined by the number of times you are flipped. True character is revealed in your predominant behavior—how you act, respond, or behave on a day-in-day-out basis. Some want to be “good Christians” when it is convenient, or, in the case of Cephas, be a good Jew depending on who is around. Galatians tells the account this way:

¹¹When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. ¹²For before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. ^{Galatians 2:11-12}

Your character should not change because of who you are around. That is why it is better to surround yourself with people of “like precious faith” rather than try to live an undercover life. In fact, 1 Corinthians 15:33-34 gives this sound advice: ³³Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” ³⁴Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.

Application

Your character says a lot about you! The question is, “Are you living up to your potential? When people examine your character what are you known for…the funny one…the intelligent one…the athletic one…the brave one…the Lone Wolf…the shy one…the non-confident one…the greedy one…the violent one…the “holy” one…the responsible one, etc.? (Maybe your best character trait(s) is not listed.) Does your character reflect God or the world? In other words, does your character tell of a person who is a God-pleaser or a people-pleaser?

The good thing is that if your character is not what you want or think it ought to be, you can change it! The past you or the present you do not have to be the future you! Reflecting on the passage I began this blog with—1 Corinthians 13:11-12, we can see the words of the Apostle Paul as words of encouragement or challenge. Let’s look at it again:

In short, he is saying it is time out for being childish…it is time to grow up! Do you want your future you to display or reflect a childish character or the character of a mature Christian? Your future begins with the decisions that you make right now! So! What will it be?

Closing Prayer

Father, we were created in Your image. Help us to reflect, exhibit, and epitomize the character of Your Son Jesus the Christ. Help us to mature in our faith and allow it to reflect in our character! We are Your children—sons and daughters of the Most High. We pray that we would not make You ashamed of how we live and the things that we do. Let us exhibit the fruit of the Spirit that reflects Your character. As Christians—those who wear Your name, let us make You proud by living and revealing the character of those who are truly joint heirs with Christ Jesus. Amen.